Ma, i went to Malacca Memorial Park to look for u today. i was tough at 1st. no tears ...
i wanted to stay longer .. but my tears start to flow down later on ... and i have no choice but to say good bye to u and leave u .......
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
r u trying to say gudbye?
few years bek ....
a fren of mine called my housefon asking for me. my mum pick up d fon ...
Mum : Hello
My Fren : eh hello! later u bla bla bla (cudnt recall wat he asked)
Mum : U looking for who?
My Fren : oh sorry aunty. ur voice just like tricia.
Mum : of coz la! she's my daughter .
tats my mum, easy going person.
i went jogging ystday wif 2 girlfrens of mine and seriously i was having so much fun ...
till just now wen i was driving bek from work, u came to my mind again. i cud still remember very well ur look wen the paramedics carried u with the stretcher. u look at me with a sad face with watery eyes. r u trying to say gud bye to us Ma?
u always ask us to take care of ourselves..but u didnt even bother bout urself...ystday popo drop by and said "u ask us to take care of our own health but y didnt u take care of urself too?"
i remembered few months bek u complain to me tat u had a bad back pain. i didnt say much but just ask u to rest more. i shud have said "i'll take u for cek up". i shud have said tat!!!! y didnt i say so!!! why!!! if oni i brought u for cek up tat time, mayb we cud had detect the cancer earlier...mayb tat cancer wasnt at tat serious stage...whereby it cud cured...Ma, im sorry. im such a loser
Ma, i still miss u...very much ...
a fren of mine called my housefon asking for me. my mum pick up d fon ...
Mum : Hello
My Fren : eh hello! later u bla bla bla (cudnt recall wat he asked)
Mum : U looking for who?
My Fren : oh sorry aunty. ur voice just like tricia.
Mum : of coz la! she's my daughter .
tats my mum, easy going person.
i went jogging ystday wif 2 girlfrens of mine and seriously i was having so much fun ...
till just now wen i was driving bek from work, u came to my mind again. i cud still remember very well ur look wen the paramedics carried u with the stretcher. u look at me with a sad face with watery eyes. r u trying to say gud bye to us Ma?
u always ask us to take care of ourselves..but u didnt even bother bout urself...ystday popo drop by and said "u ask us to take care of our own health but y didnt u take care of urself too?"
i remembered few months bek u complain to me tat u had a bad back pain. i didnt say much but just ask u to rest more. i shud have said "i'll take u for cek up". i shud have said tat!!!! y didnt i say so!!! why!!! if oni i brought u for cek up tat time, mayb we cud had detect the cancer earlier...mayb tat cancer wasnt at tat serious stage...whereby it cud cured...Ma, im sorry. im such a loser
Ma, i still miss u...very much ...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Perfect Fan
It takes a lot to know what is love
Its not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of prayers to get me through
And there is never a day that passes by
I dont think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed
Chorus
You showed me
When I was young just how to grow
You showed me
Everything that I should know
You showed me
Just how to walk without your hands
cause mom you always were
The perfect fan
God has been so good
Blessing me with a family
Who did all they could
And Ive had many years of grace
And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what youve done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son
Chorus
You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And you showed me that you would
Always be there
I wanna thank you for that time
And Im proud to say youre mine
Chorus
cause mom you always were,
Mom you always were
Mom you always were,
You know you always were
cause mom you always were... the perfect fan
I love you mom
Saturday, September 8, 2007
49days of vegetarian
49days of vegetarian lasted last nite. sum will ask "vegetarian for 49 days ok or not?". we'll answer "anyting for my mum, we will do it".
altho it has been 49days since u left us, i still tink of u.
wen u're sick tat time,
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us to get prepared
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us u wanna cremate or burried
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us to prepared photos for ur wake
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask wat type of prayers u wan wen u're gone
it hurt us so much wen we have to start searching coffin for u
it hurt us so much wen we have to look for a place for u to place ur ashes since u had choosen to cremate
to be frank Ma, i was so positive u wil be ok tat i totally ignore those questions above. wen ppl ask us, i just walk off.
wen u're asleep, i will tell u its oni a small sickness and u will be ok. i even told u tat u will be able to witness wendy, amy n karen graduate. and u will witness all of us getting married too and we'll give u grandkids. and i even plan to ask u to look after my kids. hearing them calling u "popo" definitely will built a smile on my lips.
mayb im so positive all d while and tats y im still crying over u now Ma.
altho it has been 49days since u left us, i still tink of u.
wen u're sick tat time,
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us to get prepared
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us u wanna cremate or burried
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask us to prepared photos for ur wake
it hurt us so much wen ppl ask wat type of prayers u wan wen u're gone
it hurt us so much wen we have to start searching coffin for u
it hurt us so much wen we have to look for a place for u to place ur ashes since u had choosen to cremate
to be frank Ma, i was so positive u wil be ok tat i totally ignore those questions above. wen ppl ask us, i just walk off.
wen u're asleep, i will tell u its oni a small sickness and u will be ok. i even told u tat u will be able to witness wendy, amy n karen graduate. and u will witness all of us getting married too and we'll give u grandkids. and i even plan to ask u to look after my kids. hearing them calling u "popo" definitely will built a smile on my lips.
mayb im so positive all d while and tats y im still crying over u now Ma.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
when you're gone
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
i was driving bek after swimming just now wen i heard tis song on the radio. my tears flow down non stop and i ask "Ma, where r u now?"
was working wen suddenly my mind went to sumwhere .... again i was tinking bout u Ma. how r u?
i miss u so much tat i feel like calling u and chat wif u .... but how? it's been quite sumtime since we chatted. Ma, im so afraid tat im gonna forget how your voice sound like ...
wen i was flipping thru the newspaper, i stop at one section ... its about the holiday pricing they listed down. i saw Bali and Langkawi's holiday package. u wanted to go to both of these places so much last time, but u didnt have the chance ... sigh ...
wen u were sick, i was so positive u will cure. and i planned to bring u to Singapore once u're well. and i planned to take family pics again ... there's so many stuff i wanted to do with u ... but none of my plans work out ...
Ma, i cud still feel your presence around us. i noe u're close to us ... take care Ma. remember to wait for me at Pureland .... see u there ....
Monday, September 3, 2007
I Miss U
i remember last time wenever i come bek , i will call out and said "Ma, im bek!!!".
den u will respon bek saying "I heard u" or u will come in front n greet me wif a smile.
but now ... even if i call for u, u will never show up
Ma, i still miss u. im trying hard to be strong, but the memories always come bek ... i wish i can hug u rite now
this coming saturday will be your 49days. wic means we will not be praying (i just hate to use the word 'praying' on u, Ma) u at home. we will be visiting u at Melaka Memorial Park instead. sigh ...
wen doctor told us u're gone, we went into the emergency room and look at ur motionless body. u were covered wif cloth, we cudnt see ur face. i was observing ur stomach, hoping to see some breathing movement. hoping for miracle AGAIN! but i was lying to myself AGAIN! there's no such thing as miracle!
if i cud turn bek the time, i hope tat the person who is suffering is not u Ma, but is me. i really want u to stay longer and witness all ur children getting married and giving u grandkids. and hearing ur grandkids calling u "popo".
sumtimes, i just wish tat i cud leave soon so tat i can be wif u Ma. i noe im stupid, but seriously ........ i miss u too much
den u will respon bek saying "I heard u" or u will come in front n greet me wif a smile.
but now ... even if i call for u, u will never show up
Ma, i still miss u. im trying hard to be strong, but the memories always come bek ... i wish i can hug u rite now
this coming saturday will be your 49days. wic means we will not be praying (i just hate to use the word 'praying' on u, Ma) u at home. we will be visiting u at Melaka Memorial Park instead. sigh ...
wen doctor told us u're gone, we went into the emergency room and look at ur motionless body. u were covered wif cloth, we cudnt see ur face. i was observing ur stomach, hoping to see some breathing movement. hoping for miracle AGAIN! but i was lying to myself AGAIN! there's no such thing as miracle!
if i cud turn bek the time, i hope tat the person who is suffering is not u Ma, but is me. i really want u to stay longer and witness all ur children getting married and giving u grandkids. and hearing ur grandkids calling u "popo".
sumtimes, i just wish tat i cud leave soon so tat i can be wif u Ma. i noe im stupid, but seriously ........ i miss u too much
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