i miss u ........ =(

last year, u were happily giving out red packets ..... this year, we didn't get to hear your voice and laughter ....

last year, u saw every of your sisters gather around and u said "since everyone of us around, y don we take one picture with Mama. its been long time since we take pictures together". and that was the very last picture u had wif Popo and Ah Yi they all.

2 days before CNY, together with Ta Yi we went to pray u. Ta Yi was crying so hard and she said that all of us still don have to heart to let u go ... did u hear that Ma?

Ma, where r u now? .......

jeng jeng jeng jeng ~! my very 1st steam fish! taste turn out well...verbally taught by sayang on how to do tis dish and practically i did it myself! *so proud* (kindly pls ignore the mushrooms)

Ma, how i wish u cud taste my cooking now .....

oh yeah Ma, the other day cousin called up again. he asked bout our condition etc. he ask us do call him if we need anyting ... cannot deny that u're a good aunty and oso a good mother ...

so Ma, i drove this car bek just now. i shud be happy, but im not...the moment i step into my room, i burst out to tears. i feel sad that i cant show u tis car ... i feel so sad that i cant bring u around wif tis car .... wenever there's happy news, u're always the 1st person i will inform ... i cud still remember wen u're in hospital, wif ur sad eyes u look at me and said "how's your car plan? wen r u gonna buy?". and i answered u bek "wait till u're ok i will bring u out wif my new car yeah". u looked away afraid that i will be seeing ur sad face that tells me that u don have much time ... y didnt u wait Ma?

b4 u were sick, u told me if i ever wanted to get a car, u asked me to get 8392 car plate number, just like the saga car number we r using now. so i was at JPJ the other day wif Amy and Eric, hoping to get 8392. but the JPJ Officer was telling me that all the numbers start with the number 8 finished and now the new batch start wif the number 9. my heart broke into pieces ... Ma, if u're still around that time, i sure to call u up and ask for ur opinion ... *sigh* so, quickly i went to the notice board to cek on the numbers hoping to get the similiar number that u wish to haf. my eye stop at 9392 ... but Eric managed to found 9832 . 8392 = 9832. PERFECT~! without wasting time and afraid that the number will sold out, i quickly walk to the nearest counter and ask for the number and paid on the spot.

i told sayang im sad, and he said "u tot ur Mum wont be able to see meh? She sure to noe wan". i let out a smile ....

Ma,

yesterday popo and uncle drop by. the moment both of them step into our house, both teared non stop. i started crying too. i've known uncle for 27 years, this cool man had never cried in front of us b4. but he had cried over you several times....in front of us.

look at how big influence u r to all of them?

popo was gazing at your pic and she started asking "Y must it be you?"Tears welled in her eyes.
she shudnt cried since she had recently went for cataract operation. but i noe how she feel, the pain of letting u go....

its been 1/2 year since u left us, however the missing situation is really deep.

Ma, till today i still cry myself to sleep....and oso wenever i woke up...u'll always come to my mind....

Ma, i had really missed u so much...

earlier i was out wif Karen toking bout cars. den i told Karen there were one time me n u were chatting. u asked wat type of car that i wish to buy. i said "im gonna get a car whereby can 'sumbat' all of u all in!". and u smiled....i nearly burst out to tears jus now remembering the way u smiled....

wen i was at office just now, i was having serious flu, sneezing non stop...makes me recall sumting....i haf this habit of sneezing out loud at HOME...wenever i sneeze, u will freak out and said "haiyoo, u sneeze so loud u not sked u gonna freak Adrian off ah?". i just give u a cute smile...

so, i went lunch and shopping wif my sisters. they decided to have wan tan mee for lunch. amy approach me

Amy : u wan thick or thin noodles?

*me blur*

Me : usually wat Mama buy for me huh?
Amy : thin noodles.

i've realise tat i had been relying on my mum too much. *sigh*

after lunch, we went to Tesco to get sum groceries etc. amy den said "both of u (refering to me and Wendy), wanna get yogurt drinks? Mummy usually buy for both of you wen u guys came bek from KL." i let out a short sigh. Ma, how i wish u still wif us .... doing those shopping activities for us