so Ma, i drove this car bek just now. i shud be happy, but im not...the moment i step into my room, i burst out to tears. i feel sad that i cant show u tis car ... i feel so sad that i cant bring u around wif tis car .... wenever there's happy news, u're always the 1st person i will inform ... i cud still remember wen u're in hospital, wif ur sad eyes u look at me and said "how's your car plan? wen r u gonna buy?". and i answered u bek "wait till u're ok i will bring u out wif my new car yeah". u looked away afraid that i will be seeing ur sad face that tells me that u don have much time ... y didnt u wait Ma?

b4 u were sick, u told me if i ever wanted to get a car, u asked me to get 8392 car plate number, just like the saga car number we r using now. so i was at JPJ the other day wif Amy and Eric, hoping to get 8392. but the JPJ Officer was telling me that all the numbers start with the number 8 finished and now the new batch start wif the number 9. my heart broke into pieces ... Ma, if u're still around that time, i sure to call u up and ask for ur opinion ... *sigh* so, quickly i went to the notice board to cek on the numbers hoping to get the similiar number that u wish to haf. my eye stop at 9392 ... but Eric managed to found 9832 . 8392 = 9832. PERFECT~! without wasting time and afraid that the number will sold out, i quickly walk to the nearest counter and ask for the number and paid on the spot.

i told sayang im sad, and he said "u tot ur Mum wont be able to see meh? She sure to noe wan". i let out a smile ....

Ma,

yesterday popo and uncle drop by. the moment both of them step into our house, both teared non stop. i started crying too. i've known uncle for 27 years, this cool man had never cried in front of us b4. but he had cried over you several times....in front of us.

look at how big influence u r to all of them?

popo was gazing at your pic and she started asking "Y must it be you?"Tears welled in her eyes.
she shudnt cried since she had recently went for cataract operation. but i noe how she feel, the pain of letting u go....

its been 1/2 year since u left us, however the missing situation is really deep.

Ma, till today i still cry myself to sleep....and oso wenever i woke up...u'll always come to my mind....

Ma, i had really missed u so much...

earlier i was out wif Karen toking bout cars. den i told Karen there were one time me n u were chatting. u asked wat type of car that i wish to buy. i said "im gonna get a car whereby can 'sumbat' all of u all in!". and u smiled....i nearly burst out to tears jus now remembering the way u smiled....

wen i was at office just now, i was having serious flu, sneezing non stop...makes me recall sumting....i haf this habit of sneezing out loud at HOME...wenever i sneeze, u will freak out and said "haiyoo, u sneeze so loud u not sked u gonna freak Adrian off ah?". i just give u a cute smile...

so, i went lunch and shopping wif my sisters. they decided to have wan tan mee for lunch. amy approach me

Amy : u wan thick or thin noodles?

*me blur*

Me : usually wat Mama buy for me huh?
Amy : thin noodles.

i've realise tat i had been relying on my mum too much. *sigh*

after lunch, we went to Tesco to get sum groceries etc. amy den said "both of u (refering to me and Wendy), wanna get yogurt drinks? Mummy usually buy for both of you wen u guys came bek from KL." i let out a short sigh. Ma, how i wish u still wif us .... doing those shopping activities for us

Ma, remember this beautiful flowers? these are your most favourite flower.... wenever these flowers blossom, u will look at it and smile to youself.

as far as i noe, these flowers blooms once a year and oni blooms at midnite.but eversince after u left this world and step into a better place, these flowers had been blossoms quite often.....

3rd of December marks a special day for Ta Jie. yes, thats the day u brought her into this world Ma.

we got her a birthday cake and wen we were singign birthday song for her, i look at her face. Happy + Sad.

her sad looks was telling us that Mama is not with us today. it hurt us so much ...

if im the one that is making the birthday wish, i wish that i cud turn bek the time and make sure that u're always healthy ...

the other day i was at MP, sum shop turn on CNY song. i quikly walk off and nearly burst out to tears. unlike the past years, my heart sure to jump to joy wen i listen to CNY song .. but tis time..my heart break into pieces. for the past few years, CNY is the oni occasion where we will be going out together in a family and visit relatives and enjoying ourselves ... but tis time...i just dono how to go thru it without u ...

months has pass by ... the missing game is still there ... we still miss u so much ... wenever i woke up in the morning, i sure to tink wat were u doing up there and wen i was about to sleep , i will be thinking of you too ... been trying hard not to teared but i failed to do so ...

it's been 4 months since u left us.......how r u Ma? i bet u muz be enjoying ur life at Pureland =)

no worries bout us. uncles and aunties had been calling and dropping by our house from time to time to make sure we r ok =)
even cousins sumtimes will call us up and ask us to join them for breakfast

kenot be deny that ur family is the greatest family we had! caring and loving.

even that day wen Ta Yi came bek from Spore, she ask us out for dinner. San Yi and Popo tag along too. San Yi's reaction was just like u Ma, that i nearly teared wen i saw the way she tok and her body language....den Ta Yi's face look just like u! d moment i saw her, i cried ....

Ma, i heard sumting bout u from a fren of urs. wen u were a nurse at Jasin long long time ago, and this poor and really sick communist came over to buy medicine. u noe its againts the rules for helping communist, but with ur gud heart u sold the medicine to him eventhough u noe u're not allow to do so.

somehow, police found out bout it and they were looking for u....but with the help of God, they didnt manage to track u. and they drop the case ...

there were one time one of my ex college mate actually called me up around 3++am and complaining that she's having difficulty in breathing. i didnt noe wat to do but to wake u up and told u bout this issue. without asking much, u quickly woke up, dress up and follow me to pick up my fren and send her to hospital. u were there to take care of her while me standing there dont noe wat to do.

Ma, im so proud of u =) how i wish i had half of your kindness....

but Ma, i still don get it....y God had to take u away from us since there's so many gud deeds that u had done?

again...its all depend on fate...