last 2 years, your surprise birthday...i took leave on friday and shoot bek to mlk on thrusday after work without letting you noe. you were surprised wen i show up at the end of the birthday song.

tis year, which is on 11 July 2008 (chinese calander), i took leave on friday and shoot bek to mlk on thursday after work, but not to celebrate your birthday...but for your one year death anniversary. as usual, popo, ah yi and uncle shed tears

mother's day without u.... =(

and i still......miss u....... =(

last week, ta yi from spore and siao yi frm seremban came bek to Malacca. yay~! since my mum is not around anymore, my aunties are just like our mother this time. been calling us from time to time to ask bout us..chat with us and bring us out for dinner wen they're at Malacca.

so we met up for dinner together with popo. popo was so thin this time. she didnt put on her usual smiling face whenever she sees us. unlike last time, she's the happy go lucky type. she will tell jokes with us and gossip with us too, just like my mum...like Mother like Daughter. don mess with my popo cos she's d modern type! but now, her body shrink and her eyes swollen (been crying practically everyday just like me). i did tok to her not to cry as she had just went for cataract operation and its not good for her eyes...she answer me "The day your mum went till today, i still cry over her till today as well". i burst out to tears...even now as i was typing this..


while we were having dinner together, i was observing her tiny mouth munching the food. her eyes was watery and red, i noe that she's trying hard not to cry in front of me and my sisters.


by the time we finish our dinner and left the place, i saw her took out her handkerchief and wipe off her tears...


the next day, we met up for lunch. while ta yi was chatting with us, ta yi took out one picture from her handbag.

last year CNY pic they took together. she said "this pic is already 1 year. at that time, ur mum actually knows she's not feeling well ady, but she didnt see doc. her body shrink a bit huh?".

we quiet and i ask "Why did u bring that pic out?".

Ta yi answered "I aways carry this pic with me wherever i go".

My heart sank....

somehow, whenever im doing cooking alone at your kitchen, i will feel that u're standing close to me and gave me a proud smile .... proud smile that says i'm a grown up now ....

so wat im grown up? wats the point of growing up without u?

8 months without u was like a disaster...i seriously missed your voice and your laughter and wenever you join us making jokes around ....

again the same old question always comes to my mind...y must it had to be you!? i asked God this question wenever i do my prayers, but my heart went soft later on and i ask God to guard you all the time...taking care or you wen we r not around with u

Ma, can u drop by and visit us from time to time? i wish to see u soon.......

my ex senior manager from KL (wen i was at KL working i reported under her) called me up today and i was shocked!

we were asking about each other and then she continued saying "wel, the reason i called u up today is becoz....i haven't go thru your boss 1st but i would like to ask you 1st instead."

i was like "uh huh" ( heart beat damn freaking fast!)

senior manager continue "i want to offer you one job over here. based at PJ."

and i said "err...u mean the same position i handle back at KL?"

senior manager "no no, it will be a higher position bla bla bla". she was telling me about the job task but seriously i did not even concentrate cos my heart was beating so fast tat time till i nearly pengsan!

i told her i nid to discuss tis wif my family 1st and get bek to her this Monday.

so the moment i hung up d fon, the 1st person i tot is u, Ma. how i wish i cud call u up and tellu tis big news! and im sure u will be happy and proud of me too. i remembered tat time u were sick i told u i want to transfer bek to Mlk, u were at happy at 1st, den u stop a while and said "i tink nvm la, u can stay at KL and work". silly of me to ask u why u wan me to stay at KL. and u replied "u love ur jobs over there and u have several increments there." ..... sigh ....

so now im not sure wat to do cos i do have commitments over here and i seriously wanna get my ass out of Mlk....for higher income wise too..of coz the more salary they offer u the more pressure u gonna get. i was telling myself tat if i don move on, den wen can i have another chance? aaarrggghhh........im so confuse.... *think think think*.

anyway, the other day, one of your close fren (also happen to be our neighbour) drop by at my working place to ask bout housing loan. she was chatting wif me bla bla bla and she asked bout the new car. wic i noe later on she will said "ur mum don have the luck to see such achievement u guys gonna get". my eyes was watery tat time but i stay strong. den she continued wif a smiling face "tat day i dreamt bout ur mum". straight away i burst out to tears in front of her and she cried too...

until today we still dream bout u...

http://susyandgeno.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

last year, 24th February 2007, together with you we went for aunty's 61st birthday. i overheard u were telling aunty how lucky she has kids to treat all of us makan on her big day. den aunty was telling you that you sure to have chance as well. and the saddest part is wen u said "i dono whether i have the chance anot". aunty assured that u will have the chance....

and it turn out to be true...u nv got the chance...

wen u were in critical condition ... san yi approach me and said "girl, ur mum is running out of time. u girls have to decide whether to buried or cremate". i burst out to tears immediately wen she ask me that...i didnt blame san yi for askin me tat question, she's helping us for the preparation wise...

i sms Amy to ask whether we shud cremate or buried? and it even saddens me wen Amy replied "Cremate, Mama wants cremate". i was shock and sad! she had planned it all the way....i asked Amy wen did Mama said that? Amy replied years bek...

this year, 24th February 2008, we went out to the same restaurant again to celebrate aunty's 62 birthday. with her 6 lovely grandkids running around the restaurant, aunty was smiling non stop. but u did not have the chance to witnes ur grandkids running around happily n calling u grandma. i nearly burst out to tears at tat time, but i stay strong

Ma, till today.... for bout 8 months without u by our side, it was indeed very quiet...we had missed u a lot...

i miss u ........ =(